How does a college freshman become a focused student with solid decision-making and time-management skills? How do you know if your future freshman is actually ready for college? Will you be able to let go when move-in day rolls around and let your freshman figure things out?
There is no magic dust sprinkled on your high school senior at graduation suddenly making him or her a successful college freshman. The preparation for becoming a college freshman starts much sooner—in the junior and senior year of high school.
At no time is it more important to give your student opportunities to prove that he or she can be independent and function without the safety net of the family around each day.
Remember, the more you do for him, the less he’ll need to learn to do for himself. You as parents already know how to navigate everyday life—how to research, inquire, communicate and negotiate. For 17- and 18-year-olds, these life skills have to be learned and practiced. And in order for young adults to practice and use these new skills, they must have parents who are willing to let them test the waters and get out there and use their minds on their own!
Do you have a good feeling that your soon-to-be freshman will manage time wisely, stay focused and make the most of the tuition dollars that you are about to shell out? Going away to a four-year college may not be for everyone right out of high school. Other options include going to a two-year college, community college, working for a year, traveling or attending a gap-year volunteer program or taking an internship in a field in which your teen is interested.
One month into last semester, I received an unprecedented amount of contact from parents of freshmen. A colleague in Boston said that on her campus, these parents have become known as helicopter parents—closely hovering and checking in.
Is there an impact on a too-close connection to home? Daily phone calls and chatting online to parents is common. But though it is important to feel connected, the student may not be learning of the resources on campus or using critical thinking skills of his or her own.
I’ve had an ongoing phone exchange with the mother of a new freshman who is worried that her son is not going to classes and that when he does, he is late. Her son has missed or has been late to several meetings with me, too. He sat in the wrong class for 20 minutes on the second day of school before realizing that he was in the wrong room. Then he called (guess who) Mom.
